New Year, New Wedgies
Grading this week's crop of wedgies
‘The Wedgie Scale’ breaks down wedgies in the categories of uniqueness (was it a 3 or free throw attempt?), game situation (did it happen early in the first half or in the clutch?), importance (playoff game or regular season?), and frivolities (any post-wedgie shenanigans or broadcast shoutouts?). Then we give it an overall grade on a scale of 1-5 Ralphs, named for the legendary Clippers broadcaster, Ralph Lawler, who originally coined the term.
**
WEDGIE NO. 25 | Dec. 29, 2025 | Jalen Smith (MIN-CHI)
UNIQUENESS: Bulls big man Jalen Smith blocks Rudy Gobert’s dunk attempt. (Note: Our friends at WedgieTracker.com original credited Rudy with this one, but the play-by-play log had it as Jalen Smith blocks Rudy Gobert 's 1-foot dunk, so it sticks for Stix.)
GAME SITUATION: Approximately 4 1/2 minutes left in the first quarter. The Bulls won the ensuing jump ball, but the Timberwolves routed Chicago after they lost their two top scorers, Coby White and Josh Giddey, to injuries.
IMPORTANCE: Western Conference team beats Eastern Conference team. News at 11.
FRIVOLITIES: For the love of God, would someone from Fruit of the Loom please reach out to Stacey King about a wedgie sponsorship.
GRADE: